Virginia Wolf said,
"the dresses, though they may seem frivolous, have a much more important role than merely covering our body. They also change our vision of the world and the vision that the world has of us."
Sometimes other women just said it better first, I know a new outfit isn't going to change your world, in the same way that if we are honest loosing 10lbs isn't going to drastically alter your lifestyle. However the way a small change can alter your perspective, is incredibly powerful.
Let me tell you a story about Dave, he had accepted his role as the funny guy, slightly portly and mostly crumpled. He was the type of guy that on a personal level most women would have referred to as a challenging fixer upper, successfully he was doing okay. He asked me to help him with his casual wear as he was starting to be invited to more social events linked to work and felt locked into his suit, as the rest of his clothes...well, let's just say they needed work/ burning. (I feel I need to state, Dave is fully aware I'm telling this story) So we went shopping, bare with me I have a point. Early on in the trip all I heard was, "I'm no GQ model", "that's not for me?", "Come off it, Lizzie -I'm not wearing that!", "this is a complete waste of time, there is nothing for me here." and all I saw was a condemned man enduring torture, this all before I got him in a fitting room, but I'm nothing if not persistent /stubborn. So I picked a few items, put them and him in a room and waited.
Total waste of time, he comes out - says, "none of it fit" and walks away.
I was spitting tacks, as I know damn well he's tried on precisely nothing. So I did what any self respecting professional Personal Shopper would do, I called him a douche and told him to stop being such a baby - I'm not proud of it, but it worked. He went back in and put on the jeans, to show me how wrong I was , but on they went (they looked good too), then the shirt - it was like he was expecting to incredible hulk his way out of the thing, but that fit too. He looked at me, with this little smirk and just said, "oh"
The proof as they say is in the pudding, Dave expected the whole trip to be a disaster and as a result almost caused it to be one. But by changing his perspective, he was able to open his mind and see a different outcome. Suddenly I had a different man, on my hands and a position to build from. As the day progressed there was less self deprecating humour and I started to feel less like I had a gun to his back, which helped. He became interested in the process, why this but not that? He ended up spending longer in the mirror but it was a small price to pay. So 6 months on, Dave is significantly less crumpled as his clothes don't live on the floor. He looks less portly and the jokes are better, as they aren't all at his expense, he realised he had more to offer than a routine. The same routine he'd been stuck in since school. I'm not entirely responsible but I like to think I gave him the kick that started him on the downhill roll.
The point is we all have preconceived notions and like to stay well within our comfort zones, but sometimes it is worth asking someone else to help us redefine our zones, in order to end up where/how we want to be. Maybe they'll see us clearer from not wearing the past as a veil?
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