Fr-enemies, vital advice.

So I've been tinkering with this blog post for a while, going back and forth about how to write it.  How to make it positive and illustrate why its important without being flippant or dismissive.  I've written 5 or 6 different drafts but they never quite hit the right note as I was trying to hide the point behind a story or analogy hoping you'd see my meaning.  This morning I realised that was the whole point a fr-enemy, will always hide what they are trying to say, which can be so much more damaging.

My advice is pretty simple, don't listen to them!

For those of you who are grown up enough not to recognise the term, a Fr-enemy is essentially someone in your life who picks fault and drains your positive energy.  They may not even realise they are doing it but it will have a negative effect on you.  As a general rule they are the people who pick holes in what you are doing because they would be too afraid to do it.  They will mask their criticism in terms of concern, which may be enough to sow a seed of doubt in you, just enough to remove the shine.

What has this got to do with styling?  Well I know that when you try something new it can feel a little precarious and sometimes the smallest comment can send you careening back into your old safer, more expected ways.  The woman at work who looks at you and says, "You're making more effort these days, trying to catch yourself a new man?" - Clear fr-enemy behaviour, as this comment will make you wonder what other people see your motivation to be.  The fact remains what other people think is of little consequence, if you feel better.
The significant other, who looks at you and says, "That's a new look for you?" By not stating whether it is good or bad, if you have any question in your mind you immediately suspect they are being negative.  The truth is they probably aren't but it's still a crappy statement.
The ........ well there are a million examples and we all have our own stories of outfits ruined by other peoples thoughtless comments.  When I was big, I went into a shop (I won't say which one) and was asked if I was "buying a gift, as nothing here will fit you."  I still won't go into that shop.  That comment alone was enough to fundamentally change how I felt about myself.

So I'm not dismissing how much power other peoples words have but I am saying that you can control the effect they have on you.  Next time someone is bitchy intentionally or otherwise, go look in the mirror and I mean look.  Do you like what you see?  Are you comfortable in your skin? If the answer is yes, just shrug its their drama and you don't need to internalise it.  If the answer is no, change what you don't like, because you want to though not because 'they' tell you to.  The fact is'they' have their own problems you are just too nice to point them out!

I hope this makes sense, it's meant with love.