Black tie.... GAH!

How many times have you seen these words written on an invitation and then spent the run up to the event panicking?  Yes I'm talking to the women as most men are exponentionally improved by the addition of a Tuxedo, in fact some men should be forced by law to wear nothing else.     So if you'll excuse us Gents, we girls are just going to have a little chat.  I went to a black tie event last night and it was as always 'educational', I'm pretty good at what I do in fact there are moments when I think I genuinely have a talent and yet still I had a moment getting ready when I thought sod it put your jeans back on and go to the cinema.  As you know these social occasions are supposed to be fun but you will be effected by what I call the unlearned experience, no one has ever been as Bitchy to you as you imagine they will be and yet your imagination is unleashed and you stand in front of the mirror and rip yourself open.  When the reality is by the time you get there people will only be interested in where the drinks are and how long they have to wait before another canape is put under their nose.  It is unlikely that the most interesting thing about you is your dress and as a result unless it is a stand out Oscar worthy show stopper people won't really notice and certainly aren't going to say anything, unless you make it so obvious that you are uncomfortable, they are unable to see anything else.  So what are the keys to stopping the panic and being able to start enjoying the evening when you walk through the door, rather than when you have drunk enough bad wine to not care any more?  

I could go into a diatribe about preparation preventing poor performance but actually its the opposite, minimise the time you have to get ready, as that avoids the over thinking pit fall.  In fact just minimise the thinking in general, dresses are easy you put them on, paint your face and walk out the door, no tweaking necessary, so stop doing it.  Remember there is no such thing as over dressed, just under confident!  So as I always say to my clients, "Bollocks to them", if you are comfortable and happy those are the only things that anyone worth knowing is going to notice.  There are no hard and fast rules any more, there was a time when by reading an invitation you could instinctively know exactly what was required, now things are looser and as a result may feel more confusing but the truth is it's an opportunity to be comfortable and say a little more about who you actually are.  So take a deep breath, I'm referring to black tie but the same rule applies to every event you are going to this summer.  Remember that somewhere between the fitting room and the front door every single individual in that room has wondered if they are getting it right, or looked at someone and said, "Is this ok?".  The answer is yes, now go and have a good time and relax.

Shopping is fun! It is, I'll tell you how to make it so

It's starting can you feel it?  The bi annual rejuvenation,where shops slough the old to make way for the new!  Or in less poetic terms, it's Sale time!  I hate it and love it in almost totally equal amounts, who exactly am I trying to kid that is a total lie - I just love it.  Mostly I love the passion of it, people are actually genuinely excited about there purchases.  They don't go shopping because, 'I could sort of do with a...' they go on fashion safari, it's an adventure, where every store is full of possibility, (Yes danger - I think I've mentioned before the hideous fight I once witnesses over discounted Gucci Handbags, but what is a safari without a lion chasing the truck?)  But how often in the rest of the year do you brag about your purchases?  Or tell people about them before you are even asked?  It's nice to see people excited about things, I know this isn't the deepest of sentiments and there are much bigger things happening in the world.  It just seems to me that a lot of people, never take the opportunities they do have to get excited and have fun.  It's very flattering how many of my testimonials mention that the experience is fun, but it leads me to wonder, why shouldn't it be?

It's supposed to be a good thing, spending your hard earned money shouldn't ever be a chore.  Oh, I know there are times when it is, like a broken thingy magiggy on your car or a new boiler, those aren't fun purchases but clothes shopping and gift buying should bring you joy, it should be a reward for all the other crap things you have to do in your life.  If it's not, you're doing it wrong.  So the following analogy is a bit random but hopefully by the end it'll make sense, try not to lose me in the middle.  If you were going for a special meal, say a Birthday; would you be happy to walk into and out of 10 restaurants looking at the food and tables, maybe even sitting down once or twice, before moving on?  Then went back to the first restaurant you saw in order to actually eat, before getting home to discover you didn't actually like what you ate.  I can actually hear you telling me not to be ridiculous, but that is what so many people do when it comes to clothes shopping, so no wonder they think it's a chore, doing it that way, it is.

How many times have you got home from shopping to discover that you've bought something that is remarkably similar to something you already own?
How many times have you got home and realised the item just doesn't look quite the same as when you were in the fitting room?
How many times have you been disappointed?

So yes it becomes an irritation and feels a lot like a waste of time and over time that frustration builds until you throw the baby out with the bath water and completely forget that it can be a joy.  My secret, should you chose to change things is: have a plan, execute the plan and go home for a nice celebratory glass of wine.  No Muss, No fuss!  Before you step foot in a shop think about what you actually want, and as with all great plans be adaptable - if you see a better option, take it.  Trust me the boring thing you sort of thought you could do with will be there next time or the time after that and you've probably got one anyway.  When you take your hard earned money out for a spin allow yourself to be inspired, you and your wardrobe will be all the better for it.

That way the fun lasts as you'll get pleasure from what you buy, rather than the memory of another frustrating afternoon.

Opportunity

"I hear hoof beats and I always look for the Zebra"  I have no idea where I heard this saying, I'm pretty sure I'm not clever enough to have made it up myself, for those of you in the cheap seats this is what I've always taken it to mean... that the person is taking limited information and jumping to the least likely conclusion and assuming it to be truth.  I do this all the time, I have a terrible habit of picking up little pieces of information, adding them together and coming up with a totally unlikely answer, but you'd be amazed how often I'm right.  I mean obviously it helps that I'm a genius (see there I go again, I'm right a couple of times and I'm a genius, ok so there would be the proof that I'm wrong as much as I'm right)

The reason I am so good at what I do is that I don't have all the information, it would be impossible for me to accumulate it in the time I spend with you, but I know the questions to ask to break you out of your safe assumptions and have you looking at things in a new way.  When you look at an 'outrageous piece' you know all the reasons it won't work for you, I only now that it will.

No matter who you are it is normal to start expecting certain outcomes and relying on them as truth, forgetting that you have the option to make simple alterations that will change things.  We get used to looking at our clothes in the same way and ignore the opportunity to shake things up and get a much more exciting result, may be even a Zebra.

Finding the balance

"Took me HOURS to find the right balance between appropriately slutty and still maintain a ladylike allure" - Anon (but you know who you are).  When dressing invariably there are multiple messages we want to send, in this case the balance of an exciting first date but it's equally difficult to be professional yet approachable in an interview or demure and still the person your partner knows whilst meeting their parents.  Very few people have such a defined personal style that no matter what they are doing or where they are going, at no point do they look in the mirror and wonder, 'Is this the right message to be sending?'

However it never ceases to amaze me how many people don't seem to understand the nuances of what their choices suggest, I wouldn't go so far as to say they are categorically wrong but it's just not quite hitting the mark.  A few simple missed details and suddenly the message is not only different to that which was intended, but can leave you in a situation you never wanted to be in (particularly on that first date).  The devil is in the detail and sometimes it's worth taking just one more look.

Flat shoes are ugly??

Yes, absolutely some are.  Some are ungainly and unpleasant and full of holes after a few weeks wear but they assuage our 1st world guilt and some hipster 12 year old said they were cool, so everyone wears them (if that isn't enough description for you to know the shoes I'm referring to, then you are better off not knowing and I will not be responsible for them entering another persons consciousness).  They have no support, they aren't comfortable and here is a good fashion rule if something is promoted as Unisex you will get no sex whilst wearing it.  Just Saying, you've bought them now and socially you have done the acceptable thing, now do the friendly thing shove them to the back of your wardrobe and put some decent shoes on.

I know in the summer the last thing you want to put on is a mile high heel, I don't know why this is true but inevitably when I wear heels in summer for one reason or another I end up bare foot and that can be a truly terrifying prospect.  So I thought I'd introduce you to some comfortable summer flat options that are just that little bit nicer and more useful than your 'fabric friends'.


Flat shoes can be just as elegant if not more so than their taller friends, the right pair will work well for all occasions, choosing a pair with an unexpected twist - be it literally a twist or a bright colour will add interest to many of your less complex summer outfits.  However my one piece of advice would be to think about your walk, stop schlepping around and put a bit of bounce in your step the birds are singing and it's summer.  So let's pretend we're happy about it!

Flirty and fun for Boys

It seems to me that boys tend to get the rough end of the stick, in regards to the fact - even if they make the right choice but it's different from their friends they are going to be given grief and so to stay safe they chose a  clothing palette according to prison rules, no bright colours and try not to draw attention.  All very, Blah!

You don't have to spend too long in a bar to realise the men who choose to step out of this "Universal truth" get much more attention, fundamentally because they stand out from the Blue cotton button down or plaid wearing malaise.  Think of it like a marketing exercise, are we as a consumer more likely to be interested in a product that looks exactly the same as all the others or the one that stands out?  I've come to learn when dealing with male clients it's essential to offer a reason as to why one choice is better than the other, because to an extent they have to be able to defend that choice and more specifically the change in themselves.

One of my first clients and now a dear friend is a guy named Dave, it took him some time to trust me but eventually both he and his friends saw the reason behind the choices I was making for him.  He was focused on improving his social life, I think that is the polite way of saying it.  Well mission accomplished and let's just say he's not my only client from that group of friends because when something works, other people notice and then the grief stops and the requests for a little help start.

Over packing is unnecessary

I was trained from a young age to pack light, my Dad had a strict one small, soft bag policy when it came to holidays and for fear of things being binned, I obeyed (he probably wasn't that bad).  It would be so easy to get carried away thinking of things I might need, instead of focusing on combinations that offer the maximum potential for options without duplication.  I also have one other rule which is that I have to be able to carry my own bag, I won't rely on wheels or the kindness of strangers, there are just too many staircases in the world.  The one thing I have never really understood is those people, who pack a bag the size of an aircraft hanger and then whine about how hard it is to travel.

Think about what you actually wear on holiday, I'm no gambler but I would bet it is approximately half of what you usually take, that includes all the items you bought specifically for your holiday, not to mention the items you buy on holiday that you will never wear again.  So for no reason apart from indecision you have wasted money on new clothes, souvenirs and excess baggage, that almost sounds like enough money for an upgrade?  It's getting to be that time of year when your holiday is just around the corner, I know you're excited - I'm excited but that puts you right in the danger zone for over spending and therefore over packing.

So how do you minimise without going too far and leaving yourself out on a limb?  The first thing is a really simple trick that will help enormously and I suspect you've already done it, google the weather for the duration of your stay, it may not be absolute truth but it will at least give you a benchmark to work from.  If it's going to be 90 degrees it is unlikely you'll need a jumper even on a just in case basis, don't forget if you choose the right kind of Sarong you can use it as a pashmina for the evening if there is a chill in the air.  By choosing simple shaped dresses you can easily dress them up for the evening or throw them over swimwear for a contemporary casual daytime look.  

When I'm packing for a client (yes I do that), I ask them their plans - set out everything that could be needed and streamline the options from there.  Look at the items that although different, really do the same job and only pack the best option, the one item that makes you feel the most special, then add in an accessory or 2 that change the look of it.  I'll then take photos so that they have a visual record of all the outfit options they have with them for day and night, it just makes life so much easier.

My secret love

The Tunic

A deceptively versatile piece of clothing, that has the option to take you from day to night and from super luxe to super casual.  Not to mention with the simple addition of a belt you can play with the proportion and drape changing it again to a completely different look.

The longer length is flattering and can help disguise the areas that the majority of women would like to pretend they don't have. Tunics tend to be comfortable and as they are slightly more voluminous, cool in the hopefully soon to be warmer weather.

However as with all things there are potential pitfalls that will make the look difficult to wear.  The trick and goal is to not add bulk to your frame, by choosing softer fabrics that move with you this can be avoided.  Don't be afraid to use accessories to change the point of interest and draw attention to specific parts of the line of the outfit.  For example a long pendent will bring the attention to the centre of your body, naturally creating a slimmer illusion.