Old School Glamour

I confess I'm a total junkie for 60's movies and today on TV was one of my all time favourites, 'That touch of mink' with Doris Day and Cary Grant.  The scene where she goes shopping in Bergdorf Goodman's, beautiful.  I know life isn't like this any more and its not practical to expect this kind of life but how about the occasional moment like this one, to be glamorous and relaxed.  


To have a wardrobe of clothes that means whatever the situation you are prepared and know within your soul that you look the best you could.  Unfortunately without a rich benefactor this isn't going to happen to any of us over night, it takes time and a little work but it is achievable and a realistic goal.  It might start with one key piece, which you can use as a bench mark for everything else.  For me it was a jacket by Sportmax, which is a less well known diffusion line of Max Mara, the cut is excellent and it improved the look of the quality of the pieces I wore with it.  I could then use it as a bench mark when I was trying other items, "do I feel as good in this?"  It helped to raise the bar on the items I was prepared to buy, as a result my overall wardrobe improved.  If you try something on and don't feel special in it, why would you buy it?  A feeling of glamour extends from feeling you are making the best of yourself and this is a choice you should make with every purchase in order to achieve the optimum capsule wardrobe.  In this way you will waste a lot less money, and get more value from the clothes you do buy.


How to marry a Millionaire - The other option?

Chasing the dream

Supposedly we are all chasing  a dream, be it the perfect job, perfect family or a combination of the two.  The idea that if you buy enough or do enough you will achieve this Utopian existence on Earth and happiness will be an everyday expectation.  I don't know about you but part of my Utopian life would be the ability to wear white  for more than 20 minutes, without spilling something irremovable on it. (stylish I may be, clumsy I am)  The point that I seem to have veered away from is; who is choosing our ideal of Utopia?  Did you sit down and decide what you are aiming for, or did someone tell you what you should want?  You probably have a vague notion that you want to be successful and happy, that you want your family to be healthy and wise, but have you considered on a personal level how to make that happen?


The reality is a goal is the secret to achieving anything, you can't take the first step until you at least have a vague idea of which direction you want to head in.  For example, looking better is a start but it actually needs refining into an actual goal, the spectrum is too wide to be achievable all at once and so you will invariably give up before you reach the end game.  Manageable bites is the key, if you want to add colour do it one piece at a time - then you can gauge the reaction and see if it works for you.  Take my Mum for example, a month ago I reorganised her wardrobe, we didn't go shopping, I just gave her an opportunity to really look at the pieces she already had.  The compliments, just keep coming and I can hear the pride in her voice, by wearing her clothes in a different way and getting dressed from a more simple system she is able to achieve the results she wanted.  It's true we are completely biased towards each other, she thinks I'm a genius, I think she is the root of all the good things in my life but that doesn't detract from the fact she feels amazing and the confidence shines from her and I'm proud that I could help her in that way.  We took a baby step and the results have had significant ripple effects.


So if you get a chance spend a bit of time today thinking about what you want, as that really is the first step to getting it.

Shoes live in a box, you shouldn't.

The process of becoming confined is a lengthy one, it doesn't happen over night the boxes we live in are defined over time and unfortunately usually by other people.  In my experience it is the people who are more difficult to define or who continue to surprise you that we find most interesting and as a result want to emulate in terms of fashion and lifestyle.

A style icon is someone who doesn't just do what they are told, they look at the options and make an active choice, passively accepting your lot in life is not the way to a genuine smile in the morning.  I'd like to tell you a bit more about Louise, she of the first date in 'Event dressing 101'.  She was married for a decade, the lived a fairly comfortable life but as her twenties became her thirties, the list of things that came before her in the pecking order got longer and longer.  When we first met there was no room in her life for fashion, as far as she was concerned, "clothes are what stop me being arrested on the school run", "no body looks at me anyway so what does it matter what I'm wearing?"  The boxes Louise had put herself in were: Wife and Mother, and then she was thrown out of one of her boxes, quite unexpectedly.  Life changes are one of the things I do the most as I can help illustrate ways to bridge the gap between what you are used to and what you need.  In this case Louise needed armour, confidence carrying clothes - that would mean she could fake it, for a while, until she was back on form.  Before we could build a wardrobe though we had to destroy some boxes.  As inside the big boxes were lots of little belief boxes, 

Mummies aren't meant to be sexy

I do not have time to spend hours on myself

No body cares what I look like

Fashion is not functional

To be honest the list could be endless, so why don't we concentrate on these as they are all effectively saying the same thing:- I don't matter!

It came as a huge shock to Louise that she did matter and by improving the way she felt about herself and treated herself, she was generally better at everything she was doing.  I think there is an old proverb something about the world being a better place through happy eyes and when we are unconfined we have more of a view of that world.  I'm not saying you need to question every character trait and thought that defines you, although if you have an urge knock yourself out, my friend.  What I am saying is that you aren't what you do, so why wear a uniform at home?

Go on crack the lid, I bet there is more inside than you thought!

Butter by Nadia - Signature Jersey

 I bought mine in an airport, which I think you'll agree is not the place you expect to find a fashion must have but that's Heathrow Terminal 5 for you.  They even come in ball gown length, as far as I'm concerned its as close as us women will ever get to the ease with which men can throw on the same Tuxedo again and again.  Imagine a single outfit that is only limited by your imagination.

Literally the best dress you will ever buy, bar none without exception.  It is rare for me to make comments like this, but it is also rare for me to be this impressed by an item.  As it's not just one dress, it can be all the dresses, the fabrics they use are really high quality and the options you have are never ending.  Not to mention if you run out of inspiration, there are literally hundreds of instructional videos on You Tube.  When I talk about single items that work harder within your wardrobe this is the epitome of what I'm talking about.  You can even wrap it as a skirt or top, simply genius.  Following on from yesterday's post, if you feel you have to buy a new dress, I'm getting behind this one. 

Added to this as it is quite plain you can upgrade it easily with accessories or have it as a dress for work.  Do you remember last years Christmas party, where you either drove home like a maniac to change or brought a small suitcase into work so that you could get dressed in the loo?  With this dress all you need to do is unwrap it and re-wrap it in a Grecian style, throw on a bit of sparkle and a fresh lick of mascara and you are as they say, "Ready for Bear!" (No I don't really know what that saying means either)

Argh, is that my bank balance or the temperature?

It's that time of year again when it actually almost hurts to check your finances, made worse by the knowledge that things aren't going to get any cheaper for quite a while.  I can't and won't pretend that I am good with money - I tend to see payments in terms of handbags and clothes, ooh if I do that job I can afford a new....(insert appropriate thing I don't need, but have fallen in love with anyway.)  So at this time of year I try not to look too closely and pray to all that may be up there that nothing breaks.  I imagine that if you had to add to this season a myriad of new outfits for those parties you have to go to, things would be a lot worse.  However I know that many people do add this extra financial stress, not because they see something they love but because they don't know how to update what they have.  In no way am I suggesting you get out the glue gun and destroy a lamp shade in order to fashion some quasi fashionable, wannabe monstrosity but by putting the items you already have together in an unexpected way you will end up with a wearable, effectively new outfit, that won't cause you to spend the entirety of January eating baked beans and left overs.


I am almost willing to guarantee that you have at least one back of the wardrobe dress.  A dress that has been dragged out to take centre stage more times than Bette Midler, that never lets you down.  This year instead of wearing it in the same way, why not try something different to freshen it up?  Before you go into a shopping frenzy look at what you have and see if you can recycle or reinvigorate the items you already own, instead of a whole new outfit you might be able to get away with just buying some new accessories and give old Bette a decent facelift.  For those of you who prefer a suit, due to gender or comfort, why not wear it with a funky Tshirt instead of the same old shirt.  It'll look fresh, cool and you'll be more comfortable.  Try putting colour into the outfit through your accessories as that can grab just as much attention and as many compliments as anything else.  Also you may not have considered but it is worth mentioning how much of a difference hosiery can make, so next time try a pattern or colour to completely change the aesthetic.  Tights can add a huge amount to an outfit with very little financial strain. I love the colours  available from companies like Falke and the quality is really high-end too.


This time of year is the perfect time to try doing things a different way, as the majority of people are too full of the joys of the season and are too busy to be anything but complimentary.  One of the greatest truths is that only bored people are bitchy, everybody else has better things to do.  

Why shouldn't you get what you want?

How many times have you opened a gift and immediately had to transform your face into an unnatural grimace of gratitude?  "Oh my God, I've always wanted cheap, uncomfortable underwear made of synthetic fabric - How did you know?"  This may sound a little harsh but that gift you hate is mostly your fault.  I know secretly we all long for the perfect secret surprise gift, that the people we love will somehow look into our souls and discover our secret desires, because they love us and we are simple enough to understand- so how can they get it so wrong?  It isn't because they didn't try, I extend enormous flurries of admiration for any man who even tries to buy underwear, its a mine field.  In fairness, as we have already discussed women have no idea, so how on earth is a man supposed to decode the madness.  We've all had gifts we hate from various family and friends, a particular low point for me was the year I received 10 different Boots scent gifts, the Charity Tombola did well that year, I can tell you.


I'm not being ungrateful, but don't you see it as a waste of money?  Buying people things you don't know if they'll like and in most cases you are so busy you don't care if they do either.  Not really the proper sentiment is it?  So you have a couple of options either you can continue to be passive and write down who gave you what so you don't end up re-gifting or you can be pro-active.  Spend sometime this week thinking about what you actually would like to receive.  What are your dream gifts?  When we were children we all sat down and wrote lists and I seem to remember actually getting some of the things on the list, nobody gets everything they want but even 25% is better than what you are probably averaging at the moment.  These days most companies have some form of gift list service.  Then you just email people the list, que lovely Christmas morning full of exciting things you actually want.  


I hear you yelling that it isn't about what you get and its not, but it is about giving someone a token of your love and if I don't know what means love to them, how can I?  As an extra token I can also remove some of the stress of finding a gift for me, the embodiment of the girl who has everything.  I can't tell you how many of my clients loved ones ring me to find out what they should be shopping for or to ask me to do it for them when they find out that, that is a service I offer.


If you don't have someone in your life who knows what you want, why not tell them?  Why be frustrated, it is such a simple thing, no dancing around, leaving hints and hoping it'll come good, just sit them down tonight and say, "I would like..."  Watch the relief, it could be the best gift you give them.  I'll let you in on a secret too, it leads to a general raising of the bar, as you get what you want but it also gives them a ball park to end up with that hearts desire gift you never dared even think about.


Think about what you want and give people a chance to get it for you.

When its cold outside

As it's getting so much colder I know we are all becoming more concerned with the idea of staying warm without starting to look like the Michelin Man, or like the giant mess I turned myself into here.  In my defence I was stuck in a field and functionality over took fashion, I didn't care what the layers were they just had to be thick, hence the 'Hunk o Chunk'.  In this case as with all things fashion preparation can and will prevent this kind of performance.

So I thought a few tips of products that I find amazing, to save yourself from being limited to finding clothes that match a blue skin tone.  I don't know about you but if I'm cold or hungry the part of my brain that wants to be nice to people shuts off as well, so as a favour to all those who know me, I'll be concentrating on being warm this Winter.  

1.  Thermals: I know this brings up visions of some vial itchy vest that you had for school but things have moved on significantly.  Try a Silk mix thermal top or bamboo as your fabrics of choice they tend to be mixed with polyamide, but as mostly natural fabrics they are fabulous temperature modulators and thin enough not to add significant bulk.  I've added links to the ones I have but there are more.

2. Fleece lined tights these will achieve the same effect as thermals as an option instead of woolly tights, which I think we can all agree are suitably horrid and difficult to wash.

3.  I love these hand warmers and keep them in my handbag for a quick burst of winter warmth, waiting for buses and trains.  They're pretty small so its a discreet way of mentally hugging a radiator.

4.  Scrummy, snuggly accessories- oh there are a million options and this season is no exception.  As a concept think about layering scarves to change the texture and add in extra colour, bringing warmer tones back into your winter wardrobe.  Occasionally I'll even use a summer sarong as a scarf to make me think of warmer days.

5.  Luckily this season is all about the oversized knit, there are some truly beautiful options out there, my absolute favourite and Queens of my wish list are below but I'm sure you have your eye on something equally delicious.

Lattice stitch tunic by Hush-uk.com

Covertible poncho sweater by shopbop.com

Your hourly rate

Have you ever considered your life in terms of how much you would get paid for the time you waste?  Think about the small amounts of time that are wasted everyday from not quite knowing what you are doing or from having to search for things you can't find.  I say put it in terms of your hourly rate as that is quantifiable, in very real and occasionally upsetting terms.


Now extend that thought to how much time you have spent wandering around stores looking for specific items, at this time of year, this is exacerbated by how much shopping actually has to be done.  Add in the cost of stress and the time it takes to recover after a marathon shopping trip.  Those little Christmas gifts suddenly aren't seeming so reasonable are they?  I hate to sound smug but I finished my Christmas shopping today in 3 hours, yes its my job and that does make it a lot easier, but I also have a family that grows like a weed.  Finding unique and thoughtful gifts is a monster job that leaves most people feeling far from the joys of the season.
So here is my advice, make a plan and stick to the plan.  Before you go shopping think about what you would like to buy people and set a realistic budget.  Then when you find yourself confronted by a better option take it. 


The truth is that the shops are full of great ideas but because of this it is so easy to get carried away and end up spending so much more than you meant to.  In contrast to what I have done, I also wouldn't suggest buying gifts too early as you are bound to see something else, nearer the time.  So, except for those must have children's gifts it may be worth leaving it for another couple of weeks - trust me there will always be more pashminas and perfume. 


All shopping is time consuming from food to fashion but its so much worse when that time isn't used effectively.  

Fr-enemies, vital advice.

So I've been tinkering with this blog post for a while, going back and forth about how to write it.  How to make it positive and illustrate why its important without being flippant or dismissive.  I've written 5 or 6 different drafts but they never quite hit the right note as I was trying to hide the point behind a story or analogy hoping you'd see my meaning.  This morning I realised that was the whole point a fr-enemy, will always hide what they are trying to say, which can be so much more damaging.

My advice is pretty simple, don't listen to them!

For those of you who are grown up enough not to recognise the term, a Fr-enemy is essentially someone in your life who picks fault and drains your positive energy.  They may not even realise they are doing it but it will have a negative effect on you.  As a general rule they are the people who pick holes in what you are doing because they would be too afraid to do it.  They will mask their criticism in terms of concern, which may be enough to sow a seed of doubt in you, just enough to remove the shine.

What has this got to do with styling?  Well I know that when you try something new it can feel a little precarious and sometimes the smallest comment can send you careening back into your old safer, more expected ways.  The woman at work who looks at you and says, "You're making more effort these days, trying to catch yourself a new man?" - Clear fr-enemy behaviour, as this comment will make you wonder what other people see your motivation to be.  The fact remains what other people think is of little consequence, if you feel better.
The significant other, who looks at you and says, "That's a new look for you?" By not stating whether it is good or bad, if you have any question in your mind you immediately suspect they are being negative.  The truth is they probably aren't but it's still a crappy statement.
The ........ well there are a million examples and we all have our own stories of outfits ruined by other peoples thoughtless comments.  When I was big, I went into a shop (I won't say which one) and was asked if I was "buying a gift, as nothing here will fit you."  I still won't go into that shop.  That comment alone was enough to fundamentally change how I felt about myself.

So I'm not dismissing how much power other peoples words have but I am saying that you can control the effect they have on you.  Next time someone is bitchy intentionally or otherwise, go look in the mirror and I mean look.  Do you like what you see?  Are you comfortable in your skin? If the answer is yes, just shrug its their drama and you don't need to internalise it.  If the answer is no, change what you don't like, because you want to though not because 'they' tell you to.  The fact is'they' have their own problems you are just too nice to point them out!

I hope this makes sense, it's meant with love.

Accessories add so much more than you see

There is an extreme difference between getting dressed and being dressed.  Think about a catwalk for a moment, even if the designer doesn't make shoes they borrow them, they borrow jewellery and belts and everything they need to complete their vision.  As style is actually never about the clothes.  The devil as they say is in the barely noticed detail, this is what separates the extraordinary from the ordinary. You can fundamentally alter the use of an outfit, with the accessories you are wearing with it, before you think about shoes.

There is a reason that a shop like Liberty's has a scarf room,  and there is a reason that almost every brand has an accessories range.  They will make or break an outfit, they also tend to be slightly cheaper items so that you can buy into a brand without mortgaging your underwear.  Here is the secret to great style though, don't match your accessories - it looks really over done.  You've seen that woman, the one sponsored by Gucci print - YUK!  (If I was doing that much advertising I would want to get paid.)  So how do you do it successfully?  

The first thing I would say is, it takes time to build a collection, which is what you should consider your items.  Don't rush out and spend a fortune - put in some time to find things that you love, so that your investment will pay dividends.  Sales are a great time to pick up accessories as they tend not to be so obviously trend inspired, I'm very tactile so textures are important to me, last New Year I bought a few Faliero Sarti scarves and I would say they are one of my best purchases bar none.  They are functional and stylish, not to mention the fact people always comment on how wonderful they look.  Also have you considered accessories are a way of changing a very boring outfit into something much more inspired.  I used to have to wear black for work, all black no deviation - we all did.  I can't tell you how boring I found it, until I started to see it as a challenge and then a game, how much variation could I get into an outfit within the rules?  I discovered that a necklace can change the focus of a collection of clothes and turn it into something different.  A belt can break the line of a dress, which will alter it without stitches.  A scarf can add a more interesting neckline to a t shirt, upgrading it to business attire.  On top of all of this the use of accessories makes others pay more attention and impresses them, not because they can't do it but because they wouldn't think to.

So the second secret of style is think it through, dare to wonder - what would happen if?  You might be very surprised as to where you end up.

Jeans are in my DNA

I live in jeans they are the backbone of my wardrobe, I find them easy to style in order that they are appropriate for any situation. I do wear other items but if I can find a way I'll be rocking denim, given half a chance, because it means I'm comfortable but not sloppy. I have found on my travels that jeans like bras are starting to have a bad reputation for being difficult to shop for. They do have their own language, words such as wash, fit, waist, stretch % and rise, not to mention they now tend to be merchandised as you see here, which can be daunting to the uninitiated.

Wash = Colour

Fade = Areas the dye is less strong in order to focus the eye

Fit = the way the jeans are supposed to look ie loose, relaxed, tight

Style = Flare, Bootcut, Slim bootcut, Straight, Skinny, Fashion

Rise = Depth of the crutch

Waist = In inches 28 is a size 10 approx

Stretch% = between 0 and 3% to still be jeans

Hell it can be daunting to me and I know what I'm looking at and for.  The first thing I would say is head for a retailer known for denim, if you want your jeans to fit you properly you need 2 things:- a manufacturer, who knows how to make them and a Sales Advisor(SA) who knows how to sell them.

1. Be prepared, before you go shopping think about what you want from your jeans, are they for going out or lounging around or do you want a multi purpose pair that can be dressed up or down.  Realise that it is not going to be a quick process, you are going to have to try a few pairs at least, unless you are very lucky or shopping with me.
2. Don't look at the jeans, instead you see that girl/boy standing next to the jeans who just said hi, talk to them, they spend all day looking at peoples arses in jeans and they know the difference between the good and the great.  Agreeably this can be hit and miss, but if you don't like the SA, you can walk away and you have wasted no time.
3. Be prepared to have your mind changed, if you go in asking for a bootcut but the SA listens to your needs and suggests a straight or flare at least try them on, you may be surprised and in fairness you've got your clothes off anyway so what's the difference?  If you ask for a light wash and they show you a dark wash in a different style that they don't have in a light wash try it on.  Jeans can be ordered.
4. Come out of the fitting room and ask for a consensus, I think I may have mentioned before that fitting rooms aren't your friend - the lighting is terrible, they tend to be small and lonely.  So open the door and see what other people think.  The SA can give you realistic advise about the size, style and whether the fit is appropriate.  If they make a suggestion, listen to their advice.  Even those who work on commission, which in the UK is far less than you think, want you to get the perfect jeans as then you'll keep them and return to buy again.  It's in no one's interest for you to end up with rubbish clothes.
5. Alteration isn't a dirty word, so the jeans fit perfectly, best ever but they are too long.  I shouldn't have to tell you this but I know I do, get them shortened then they are the perfect length too and they won't get raggedy and ruined.  If the waist gapes but they are perfect everywhere else, this can be altered as well, although it might be worth asking if the brand does a curvy fit - most do now.  Although be warned as a general rule of thumb these will be either the best or worst jeans you have ever put on, they rarely fall into the middle ground.
6.  When it comes to the fit of stretch jeans, which 90% of jeans are now.  The rule is the tighter the better, sorry.  If you can run your thumb around the inside of the waist band they are the right size even if you fear for the button.  I promise that within half an hour they'll fit like a glove and never get to the baggy bum stage - which is the ultimate thing to avoid.

You don't have to be this size to look like this!

There is no excuse for the Mum jean, no one looks good in them or feels hot in them.  So don't let it happen to you and don't pay for something that doesn't fit you.  I can't state enough that the Sales Advisors are there to advise you, its in the title and everything.  Give them a chance, you might be really pleasantly surprised!

I could go on about stretch quotients and pocket positioning, I could bore you to tears about the way certain jean brands place their seams and detailing and the reasons for same.  I feel I could write a fairly substantial thesis on the way the different dyes will effect the way the jeans stretch over time.  But the truth is I know all you care about is how they look on you and that my friend is a case by case basis!  

Happy hunting, for the perfect jeans for you!

Event Dressing 101

Well its that time of year again when there is a party around every corner and also unfortunately the possibility of a pitfall.  Dressing for an event by its very nature, removes you from your comfort zone, whether its for a date or the Opening night of some new swank establishment or even a friends party, you are walking into a situation you cannot fully prepare for.  So why I ask myself do so many people try and dress as someone else in order to conform with what is expected of them?  Don't get me wrong I am not suggesting you try and completely remove yourself from social expectations and go to your brothers wedding in jeans but there are ways to modify any outfit combination to fit what you need in order to feel comfortable.

Time for a story I think to give a full example, let me tell you about Louise, she's pretty confident and has a fairly good head on her shoulders, usually.  She was going out on a date, the first after her divorce and her confidence was not what it should be.  Before we went shopping Louise decided she wanted to wear a dress, even though she hadn't worn one in several years, due to her job and life style she's a jeans and t shirt kind of girl (Upgraded, but those are her staples).  So I picked 5 options, that would be appropriate for a first date and we got stuck in.  Louise took one look and dismissed all 5 options, so we sat down to have a chat as I was clearly on the wrong path.  As the conversation continued it became apparent that the dress Louise was hankering after was somewhere between full body armour and a spiders web, ie she wanted the dress to save her from actually going on the date.  There were sentences like, "I want to feel safe, I want to be enticing, I don't want him to get the wrong idea, I want him to see the real me and I want to look like I know how to have fun." all perfectly acceptable sentiments, except when put together they add up to clothes as camouflage.  I'm no dating expert but as I understand the concept they do tend to have more chance of being successful if there are 2 people having dinner, rather than 2 people involved in a protracted game of 'Guess Who?'.  Eventually I persuaded Louise to buy a new colourful, silk top to wear with some HOT jeans she already had, rather than introducing this poor guy to a woman he would never meet again.  I'm afraid the date was not destined to be the love of her life but going as herself meant she could concentrate on having a good time rather than whether her skirt was doing something unexpected.

We all love the concept of getting dressed up but invariably, if you are anything like me, go into a flat spin panic at some point in the procedure.  This is why it so important to choose an outfit you know you'll feel fabulous in, so that if you are having a fat day, your face breaks out or you end up running late.  You are as prepared as possible.

In a situation full of uncontrollable variables, the only thing we can control is ourselves.  An enormous part of this is controlling the way we feel about ourselves, which can be bolstered by getting the clothes right, sometimes confidence can be built from the outside-in.

And if all else fails wrap it, strap it and strut it!

Buying better...making clothes work harder.

     

 This outfit cost £150, DKNY cozy £66, DVF dress £84, both sale purchases, obviously.  But this is my point they were good purchases and just these 2 items can make this many variations.  Add in a pair of skinnies and I could be here all day.  When I talk about clothes that are transformational this is what I'm referring to, items that you can play with and change your look.  Technically both are 2 seasons old but they still follow the trends we are seeing now.  I would say that I've covered evening, weekend and work within the variations and this will only be further enhanced by the accessories that you choose.
It was just a fun little exercise but I hope you enjoy it and maybe look again at your clothes and start to wonder what you could achieve.

You know it makes sense

As you may have guessed by now I tend towards the optimistic, I'll find the sunny side, look for the rainbow and make enough lemonade to drown in!  However there are days when this is harder than others - days when everything you try is wrong and you just aren't quite getting it right.  Days when you can't turn your clients frown upside down, when she is determined that you are a waste of money and the experience is a waste of time.  So for these people I'd just like to ask a few questions.

How many dresses are in your wardrobe that you only know how to wear one way?
How many outfits have you bought that you only wear together because there is no cross over in your pieces?
How many jumpers do you put on that have been eaten by moths or the shape has been ruined by how you store them?
How many times have you put on something you bought in a rush and taken it off because it doesn't look right?
How many hours have you wandered around shops not finding anything you want to buy? (What is your hourly rate)
How many items do you own that look exactly the same but in a different colour?
How many times do you look in the mirror and give yourself a hard time?
How many times do you walk into a room and wish you'd worn something else?
How many times do you feel you look really good?
How many times do your loved ones tell you, you look great?
How many times have you lived/dressed up to your potential?

Ok, just think about these questions in regards to the last fortnight.  I'm not saying work out how much you've spent on your wardrobe, as that is a terrifying prospect.  What I'm saying is that by spending money in a more efficient way you save money in the long run.  As shopping should not be a weekly past time, it's not actually a hobby.  There are better things to do with your time and money.

So do it once, but do it right.  Which is where someone like me comes in,  I'm not going to make you buy thousands of pounds of clothes, I don't get commission from any stores.  What I will make you do is look at the ways you can improve your options.  I show you how to get more use from the items you do have, I'll introduce you to brands and stores you won't have seen before and find a unique style that makes you feel amazing everyday.  So yes it sounds pretty upmarket to say I have an image consultant but you don't have to tell people if you don't want to.  Here's the truth though- people will notice, this is the one thing all my clients share, they feel better about themselves and it is this confidence that draws attention.

I met with a new client today and she said the nicest thing, "You're like an instant reset button."  Maybe you had to be there - what she was saying was that, I removed all her preconceived ideas and let her start afresh.  It didn't happen immediately but we got there together.

Why should you care?

Today I was asked this question and I didn't immediately have an answer.  I had a reply but not an answer, because there are a million answers from the simple, so you'll look better, to the impossibly complex, so you'll feel better.  Here is my story and the reason I care.

Four years ago I weighed in at a mighty 18 stone 10lbs/262 lbs total, I'm 5 foot 9inches so this pretty much classified me as needing my own post code.  I spent my life hiding in baggy clothes that made me look bigger and being generally quite miserable.  As far as I was concerned it didn't matter what I wore as Marquees were never in fashion.  I still loved clothes but they were for other people - style wasn't something that had any relationship to my life any more.  Even writing that I remember how sad that made me, but because I couldn't accept myself, I couldn't dress myself.  What came next is a little bit of a chicken or the egg situation, I don't know whether I lost weight and started to dress better or started to dress better and realised I should lose some weight.  I couldn't accept who I was, it didn't work for me, so I fundamentally changed it.  I lost 110lbs, which is what I had to do to get to what I wanted to be.  My hope for you is that you won't have to make such a drastic change to get to where you can look yourself in the mirror and say, "I like you!".

As a result I've changed my personal style so many times, I can dress any shape- as I've been an incarnation of all of them along the way.  I know how it feels to wander the shops searching for anything that fits and hoping to make the best of a terrible selection.  More I know how it feels to walk into a shop and feel as if you aren't welcome there, that you are unprotected and being judged.  It usually isn't true but I do recognise the feeling.  I've sat in fitting rooms crying because I look lumpy in everything, I've tried on.  Information is power and I learnt all the tricks to disguise my ever changing shape.  Through necessity I learnt how to bend trends into wearable fashion for me, but also how to make my wardrobe work, as I continued to shrink, so that I wasn't having to start again every few weeks.  This is why I bang on and on about key stone pieces that can upgrade your wardrobe, as replacing 1 piece is realistic and affordable.  It's also why I say that it is ok to ask for help because we don't always see what is real and dressing an imagined shape can make things so much harder.

The reason you should care about your style is because you deserve to.  It's not shallow to want to look in the mirror and like what you see and sometimes its easier to start the change from the outside in.  Using your clothes as a type of armour, presenting the world with the image of who you want to be, so you can give yourself the time to become that person.

So the answer is simple because caring about what you look like means you care about who you are.

A lack of inspiration

It's 6am and you have to leave the house for work in 25minutes, in that time you have to wash, eat and ingest enough caffeine to jump start your system, so that you don't continue to feel as if your brain is still wrapped in a warm blanket.  At 6.10am you are standing in front of your wardrobe wet and starting to shiver, trying to decide what out of this mass of fabric might go together to form an outfit.  Time is ticking and your brain still isn't quite with the program.

I've heard rumours about people who get out of bed, even on the darkest of winter mornings, packed with energy and ready to greet the day - I'm not that person.  As a result preparation is the only thing that protects me from some truly horrific fashion mistakes, my early morning brain cannot be left to its own devises.  So my wardrobe is set up not only to inspire my choices but also to make it as easy as possible.  So that when inspiration's muses can't cut through the fog, I will still get out the door on time, looking as if I might work somewhere in the fashion industry, rather than as a clown or a replica of yesterday.

A few simple changes might make all the difference to you, I know they did for me.
1. Give your wardrobe sections.
2. Organise by colour
3. Hang up as much as you can
4. If you have more than 5 items of the same colour have a clear out
5. Keep accessories accessible
6. Have one in case of emergency outfit.

In this way all you need is a starting point and you are as good as dressed, rather than pulling out half your clothes and throwing them into a pile on the floor or worse just putting on the same old safe choice - Blah, blah.    Getting dressed is like any puzzle, when you can see all the pieces, its like they put themselves together.  You wouldn't keep your files in random order at work, as its unproductive, so why keep your clothes that way.  By putting a system in place you save time and irritation.  Give yourself a chance and make life a little easier in the morning.

Quality Fabric shows

How many times have you followed the washing instructions and ended up with a different top from the one you started with?  Either because the weave of the fabric has warped or the seams have twisted, neither lead to attractive garments.  How about when part of the item stretches, like the neckline or hem and the rest stays the same.  This just isn't what you paid for and I don't care if it cost £5 or £500, its not right.  By quality fabric I don't mean expensive, I mean functional.

You can tell a quality garment by the feel with a little practice and it'll stop the wear and waste issue.  I received the best text today, which I think explains my point, "people know you mean business when you're sporting a quality fabric!! :)"  Hell yeah they do!  You're clothes don't always have to be new but they should still look as if they are.  Sometimes half the battle of looking stylish is looking smart and half the battle of getting what you want is feeling like you deserve it.

It's not you, its the dress

We've all seen the celebrity photos, a style icon - looking like she was dressed by Sacks 'R' Us.  We know what they can look like when the dress is right, that their figures are flawless and yet we get...

Mischa Barton/  Michelle Trachenberg/ Mary-Kate Olsen

Please excuse my bitchiness, it's not usually like me to point fingers or make physical examples out of people, especially people I don't know, but I really wanted you to see my point.  These women have no budget on their wardrobes for these types of events they invariably borrow dresses, they have teams of stylists- hair, make up and still it can go wrong.  When you flick through the magazine you say to yourself, "God, what an awful dress".  Yet when you are in a fitting room you say, "God I look awful".  In this sentence it is the, I, that I have an issue with, maybe you do but for just one moment did you consider it's not your fault?  When you are in there giving yourself yet one more mental beating about the cake you ate or the workout you missed, Stop! 

It's not about you its the dress.  Try a different one, thanks to the power of competition there are about a million of them, I bet one looks smoking hot.  So many women I've met over the years beat themselves bloody over not looking a certain way, they just dissolve in the fitting room.  Ready to nail themselves to a cross because the 12 is too tight - so try a 14.  

There is very little in the way of uniform sizing anymore, even within the same brand there can and will be variations due to fabric, style and cut.  So the first thing is stop killing yourself over sizes, its a guide not an absolute.  Secondly the dress may just be awful, some designers occasionally get it very wrong and something that looks amazing on a hanger, just won't fit the curvature of a real, human woman, no matter who they are.  Conversely a dress that looks like Ka-ka on the hanger could make you look like a style icon.  Which is why there are personal shoppers - we remove the guess work and help point you in the right direction for the future to avoid the beating.  As it can be so horrible is it any wonder we get stuck in ruts, wearing the same thing, that we know looks good.  The problem is that way we never discover what could look better.  So next time you take a risk and try on something that is out of your comfort zone and it doesn't work out- laugh, take it off and move on, its not your problem. Risk = Reward, it just may not be today.

You can't shop as an island.

You can shop on an island, just not as one.

Even if you are sitting beavering through websites, at 3am in the morning - you still aren't alone or uninfluenced.  There is the ubiquitous 'Editor's Pick' or the occasionally horrific, 'wear it with'- I always find myself wondering how I would react if I saw any of these "looks", strolling down The High Street.  When in a shop, you may not be aware of it but you are constantly being bombarded with signals of what to buy and how to buy it.  All shops are a series of paths and funnels to get you to where the merchandising team wants you, this is part of the reason stock is constantly rotated to ensure a good sales variance.  I feel like I just let out a secret, but I'm sure you knew it.

We are influenced by the Sales Advisors and how helpful or not they might be.  How flattered they make us feel and its really luck if you get a good stylist, as well as a good Sales person.  I know I've been convinced to make a mistake before.  These mistakes happen when we forget ourselves and get lost in the snap shot.  (HUH?)

Here is what I'm getting at, the 'Shop' sees a snap shot of you.  They don't know how you live, how you work, what you love - they only see a consumer and its their job to make you buy something of theirs.  They aren't going to tell you that you can get the same outfit cheaper elsewhere or that a slightly different cut of trouser not available through their outlet will suit you better.  They don't know or, frankly care, if the thing you are buying fits with your lifestyle or if you have anything to go with it.  So its up to you.  Shop in snapshots- on an island or you can bring your own influence to bare and to improve and understand the choices you make.  It's ok to ask for help from somebody impartial, be it a friend or professional, but make sure you trust their judgement and like their style first.  When I have a new client there is a whole questionnaire before we ever go into a shop, because I want to know who you are. I want to know how to get you exactly what you want, in a way that works for you.  That's the essence of my job, to cut out the guess work and Upgrade You to the best possible version of yourself.

So next time you are in a fitting room ask yourself a few questions, you aren't paying rent you can stay in there an extra minute - Do I look as good as I could?  Does this fit with my lifestyle?  Can I name 5 things in my wardrobe that either go with it or could enhance it?(This can be jewellery, shoes, a coat, etc).  If the answer is no to any of these questions, please put it back and look again.

The true value of a bargain.

In case you hadn't guessed I spend a lot of time in shops.  I love them but ironically, I hate shopping in terms of what it means to many people, the idea of aimlessly searching through rails fills me with dread.  Maybe because I do it for a living, I have a plan- execute the plan, evaluate and discard choices quickly and move on.  Things tend to fall into 3 categories when it comes to my own purchases, I either don't look at the price because I want the item so much I will find a way to afford it, I need an item to replace something I've had to admit decency no longer allows me to wear in public or lastly I find a little Golden Nugget of sartorial elegance that is so much better for being 70-80% off the original price.  If the item hits bracket 1&3 you can be sure that every time I wear it, I'll be smiling.

So what is a bargain?  Is it the sequinned dress you bought for £20 in the Topshop sale and wore once? Is it the jumper that was 50% off, that you bought as an experiment but never wore because you got caught up in the excitement of the first day of Sale, when people were pushing and shoving and baying for the hunt?  Or is it the Joseph coat you found in the middle of January at the end of the Sale, that just happened to be in your size for 70% off, (that still cost you £200) but that you pull out every year with the first frost and smile not only over the quality but also at how much of a bargain you got?  I would argue that this smile is the value of a bargain.  I say it all the time: Price, does not determine value.

You determine the value of an item by how well it works for you.  I'm not a fan of the one hit wonder, a dress so memorable- you can only wear it once.  I'd rather spend my money on a dress that I can wear in 10 different ways and always look a little different, thereby creating value and adding to the merit of owning it in the first place.  I like my clothes to accumulate joy, "this is the top I wore when...", "these are the jeans that always make me feel...", I know it sounds silly, but that's me.  I don't know about you but I don't have money to waste, so I try and ensure that I'll get some serious bang for my buck.

So maybe tomorrow isn't the day you'll find your Joseph coat, but wouldn't you rather save your money until you find it?  As I always say it's not the size of your wardrobe, its what you can do with it.

Translating compliments

I love a compliment! I've just finished dinner with some of my best friends, they know me well enough to know that the payment for me cooking must be made in appreciative noises, I'm lucky they are willing to play along and I'm arrogant enough about my cooking to believe them.  This is something I never question, as far as I'm concerned it's science A+B= Delicious food, it's not really about me.  I have some skill and some excellent recipes and the 2 come together to make things right.  I don't put any spin on what is said I just accept that the response will be positive.

In comparison, the way I react to a personal compliment can rest in a million variables, leading me to question and dissect every comment made, looking for the double edged sword. My mood becomes my translator, for good and sometimes ill.  I think this is true of most people, we take to heart things that were meant frivolously and make them a part of the DNA of our future choices.  Sometimes this is a good thing but it can also cause us to reject possibilities that may be better for us.  

The next time you receive a compliment just listen to the words, don't over think it, stop translating and start listening to what is actually being said.  It's said that only 20% of communication is verbal - which I agree with but that's a big percentage to totally ignore or replace with your own distorted image.  Especially if that distortion is based on the fact you didn't sleep well, had a row with your significant other or the dress you wanted to wear has been eaten by a moth.  There are very few people in this world who hand out compliments for no reason, I know I haven't met one yet.  So the next time, you are given a compliment take it to your heart and polish it like a jewel, stop questioning it and accept it as, A+B = truth.  

The rules of the game

If you haven't guessed by now I can be slightly dogmatic.  I love a saying and have one sloshing around my head, somewhere for most situations.  I know a little about a lot but a lot about very little, however what I do know is how to make shopping less of a trial.

So hear are the rules:

1. I like it but...

I just wish it....

It's a shame that...

Any of these sentences said in or around a fitting room, mean the same thing as I love you said in or around the bedroom - it's not for real.  It also means there is something better out there for you.  I feel I can be quite safe in saying if you don't buy anything on your next shopping trip, you have other options before nudity, so why settle for ok?

2. If you have to fiddle, find a blues band

This isn't an absolute truth but a fairly safe bet, if you spend longer that 30seconds trying to get the fabric of a piece to sit right - take it off and hand it back to the nice Sales Advisor.  When I'm getting ready to go out I don't have time to be trying to get a dress to 'sit right', I then don't have time after I get out of a car or come out of the loo.  These are the people you see fiddling with their clothes, I don't care who or where you are fidgeting makes you look nervous and uncomfortable, as from a distance people can't tell that if that fold is 1 inch further over, its more flattering to your waist.  You should have bigger fish to fry.

3. Stop using clothes as sticks to beat yourself with.

You know all those items you bought to 'slim into', throw them out, sell them, give them to charity.  When you lose weight you are going to want to go on a massive shopping trip, take a strole down memory lane - don't move in.

4.  I love this, if I just had an ***** to go with it

If you can't see the ***** or don't know where to find one, don't buy it.  With any item if you can't already see yourself wearing it, unless you are embarking on a total image transformation, it's going to become one of those items that you use as a stick to beat yourself with.  "I never wore, that - look it's still got the tags on." You were never going to wear it, so next time, don't waste your money on it.

5. Try on one thing that draws you in but makes you nervous.

Wondering what I mean?  You know that item you touched the sleeve of, or brushed your hand surrupticiously over the fabric so no one would notice? Yeah the one you picked up and longingly said, "Isn't this lovely?" - That's the one to try.  As it'll either be as lovely as you think or it won't and you can stop thinking about it.

6. Shoulda, woulda, coulda

Just stop beating yourself up.  Next time you are in a fitting room, just don't say anything to yourself you shouldn't, couldn't or wouldn't say to someone else.

It's not just clothes

Virginia Wolf said,
"the dresses, though they may seem frivolous, have a much more important role than merely covering our body.  They also change our vision of the world and the vision that the world has of us."


Sometimes other women just said it better first, I know a new outfit isn't going to change your world, in the same way that if we are honest loosing 10lbs isn't going to drastically alter your lifestyle.  However the way a small change can alter your perspective, is incredibly powerful.  


Let me tell you a story about Dave, he had accepted his role as the funny guy, slightly portly and mostly crumpled.  He was the type of guy that on a personal level most women would have referred to as a challenging fixer upper, successfully he was doing okay.  He asked me to help him with his casual wear as he was starting to be invited to more social events linked to work and felt locked into his suit, as the rest of his clothes...well, let's just say they needed work/ burning. (I feel I need to state, Dave is fully aware I'm telling this story)  So we went shopping, bare with me I have a point.  Early on in the trip all I heard was, "I'm no GQ model", "that's not for me?", "Come off it, Lizzie -I'm not wearing that!", "this is a complete waste of time, there is nothing for me here." and all I saw was a condemned man enduring torture, this all before I got him in a fitting room, but I'm nothing if not persistent /stubborn.  So I picked a few items, put them and him in a room and waited.
Total waste of time, he comes out - says, "none of it fit" and walks away.
I was spitting tacks, as I know damn well he's tried on precisely nothing.  So I did what any self respecting professional Personal Shopper would do, I called him a douche and told him to stop being such a baby - I'm not proud of it, but it worked.  He went back in and put on the jeans, to show me how wrong I was , but on they went (they looked good too), then the shirt - it was like he was expecting to incredible hulk his way out of the thing, but that fit too.  He looked at me, with this little smirk and just said, "oh"
The proof as they say is in the pudding, Dave expected the whole trip to be a disaster and as a result almost caused it to be one.  But by changing his perspective, he was able to open his mind and see a different outcome.  Suddenly I had a different man, on my hands and a position to build from.  As the day progressed there was less self deprecating humour and I started to feel less like I had a gun to his back, which helped.  He became interested in the process, why this but not that?  He ended up spending longer in the mirror but it was a small price to pay.  So 6 months on, Dave is significantly less crumpled as his clothes don't live on the floor.  He looks less portly and the jokes are better, as they aren't all at his expense, he realised he had more to offer than a routine.  The same routine he'd been stuck in since school.  I'm not entirely responsible but I like to think I gave him the kick that started him on the downhill roll.

The point is we all have preconceived notions and like to stay well within our comfort zones, but sometimes it is worth asking someone else to help us redefine our zones, in order to end up where/how we want to be.  Maybe they'll see us clearer from not wearing the past as a veil?    

You're either in your shoes or on your mattress so spend money on both.

A woman told me today she only had 2 pairs of shoes and wasn't sure what else she needed.  After I had picked myself up off the ground, I got to thinking shoe wise, what do we actually need?

Good afternoon, my name's Lizzie and I have a shoe addiction, I'm not alone in this, I know that.  I've always thought of shoes as fashion's gateway drug, they're easy to get into and what ever size you are they'll continue to fit and make you feel fabulous.  I love my shoes, I love knowing I have them, that I can wear them, that they can take an average outfit to a better place.
The title of today's blog is a saying my Grandmother used to repeat like a mantra, as a result I think it became part of my DNA, I don't think she was referring to shoes that cost as much as my rent, but that is what artistic license was invented for.  The truth is there is only one pair of shoes that every single woman on this planet needs to own and that is a comfortable, black high heel.  These come in a million variations, so that you can find the perfect ones for you - not so you can own them all, although if you want to - you'll hear no judgement from me!
 Mine are an 80mm Black patent Gucci, the heel height is safe and the sole is padded under the toes.  They aren't externally branded, which is important to me.  They are my back of the wardrobe shoe, what I mean by this is, if I'm unsure or can't make a decision what to wear, these are the shoes I go for.  As whatever happens I know my feet will be comfortable and when my feet are comfy I can endure almost anything.  These are not a budget shoe, but I look after them and I know they'll last a long time and will be replaced when I find something as good or better.




However I feel as strongly about the perfect brown knee high boot, which for me are Chloe, but I used to love my Dune ones equally until I wore them (literally) to death.  They should be an interesting tone of brown, loose enough to wear over jeans but still with some structure for dresses and skirts.  I prefer to keep adornments to a minimum as I tend not to make purchases like this seasonally so the style must have classic longevity.




So what makes a necessary shoe?  For me it is the ability to wear it casually and for occasion dressing, shoes should not have a specific role and they should add to, without over powering an outfit.  If the most exciting thing about you, is your shoes - people are concentrating on the wrong end.