Stop pretending

I hate to sound like a bad Chesney Hawkes impression but, You are what you are and you don't need to change or deny that.  I've been out and about today and this has come up, so many times, I've almost lost count.  Oh I'd be fine if...., if I could just..., when I was...I would have - please input your own excuses.  It just doesn't work on any level from the deepest to the most shallow, by pretending or hoping to be something you are not you miss the opportunity of who you are and what you could be.  Ok, rant over, please relax and read on.

Have you ever thought I could wear that if, I was lighter, younger, blonder?  The truth is, that in the time you want to wear that specific item you will probably be none of those things but if you love that item, I promise you with the right styling it will work for you and make you feel amazing.  (Unless it's Herve Ledger, then there is little I can do, it is what it is.)  You should not have to restrict yourself and if you allowed yourself to thoroughly understand the shape you are, I bet you would stop wishing you were something different.  Trying to adopt a style is exhausting, if it isn't naturally comfortable for you, adapting a style to your comfort is the easiest thing in the world.

So after reading this if you do nothing else, take a small step to just accepting what you see in the mirror, dressing reality is always easier than finding clothes for the mythical creature you hope to be and then constantly being disappointed.  You'll look and feel much better.

Corporate, comfortable and productive

A format long recognised in the more creative corporations is that if people are comfortable and happy they work better.  There has been a movement away from the grey box office spaces, as people spend more time in work, they want a better environment and to be fair deserve one.

Pixar Office Photo: Deputy Dog

 However due to a need to present the 'right' image many companies still feel they can't allow their staff to express themselves through their personal style and trust me I understand their is a good reason for this.  Recently I had a young woman come to me, as she was in need of a suit for an internship, she had been rendered frozen by the induction, in which it was stated, "This isn't a fashion parade, it's finance and you will look professional."  By the time she got to me, I think she had tried on every suit in the South West and rejected them.  Reaching the point where she almost wanted a suit that looked awful to prove how serious she was, tricky.  She understood how to look professional she was a smart girl, but not how to remove 'fashion' from the equation.  I think this is how many people end up sticking to the uniform, for men dark suit and thanks to various tv programs a pastel shirt with assorted degrees of success on the choice of tie, whilst for women dark suit with various degrees of success on the blouse.

Although I very rarely meet people who feel comfortable in a suit or would choose to wear one if given a choice.  So how do you marry the needs of the image that a corporation wants to present, whilst allowing your staff to feel comfortable and therefore possibly increase their production.  The majority of people learn what is appropriate through a series of cultural clues, following others or receiving praise and correction but appropriate doesn't always mean best for you as an individual.  Also telling people they aren't dressed appropriately is both a fine and sticky line, uncomfortable for everyone involved, from necklines that leave nothing to the imagination, skirts that look like they are trying to enter the witness protection scheme, suits that look like they were borrowed out of a van and ties with cartoons on them(I know nobody would make this mistake) but they send the wrong message.

So how do you make sure everyone gets the message right?  So that your staff feel confident and you as the boss aren't wondering what sights you'll see next.  There is an easy answer have someone else do it, by outsourcing you have an instant external bad guy who can illustrate the image you are presenting and the simple adjustments to ensure things improve.  Whilst allowing you distance from the process so that no one feels personally attacked or singled out.

Starting small for simple change

 Ok as trite clichés go, I have what can only be describes as a stock pile.  There's "Each journey begins with a single step." or "From a tiny acorn comes the great Oak tree" or "Rome wasn't built in a day", how about Disney's "From Zero to Hero, in no time flat" a catchy little tune, I'm sure you'll agree (honestly Google it, it'll stick in your brain for days).  But the point, (Ah, my eternal search for the point) is that you can't change everything in one day.  You can try, it won't work though and you'll end up in a worse mess than before.  We have all been the victims of a system change, there are always glitches and unexpected errors that lead to a need to adapt and reconsider.  Sometimes a simple small change is all that is necessary to make the most improvement.  I'm an enormous fan of that.

I give as an example one of my first clients, back when I was starting to feel my way through.  Upgrade me was just an idea or Acorn if you will but I went to my clients house and had a lovely day rooting through her wardrobe making suggestions about ways to wear clothes that she hadn't considered, putting out fits together that enhanced the worth of the individual items.  Like me she has a tendency to fall in love with an item, so there were some absolute treasures.  However she had no basics, nothing to link the pieces or make them easier to wear.  She wanted to discard a beautiful jumper because the neckline was wrong, not considering with a vest underneath it, hey presto-perfection.  She had an amazing early 90's white, three quarter length jacket, which she never wore as in her mind it was an event piece, but with a t shirt and jeans it became something new and wearable.  A dress that she felt was too short for her current lifestyle, add in the right leggings and it became a smart alternative work look.  We spent a happy half hour on the art of finishing an outfit, ie playing with scarves and other various accessories.  Genuinely simple things, that made a huge difference.

So yes I could take you out and help you spend a fortune on all new clothes but I'd rather help you discover the tiny changes that will give you back the confidence in the choices you have already made.  I'd put my reputation on the fact that no client ever needs to spend as much as they think to invest in freshening up their wardrobe.  Usually all that is necessary is a fresh perspective without historical bias and a bit of time to play.

Have a good day.

Quick Question?

Is it bad that I only really care about the Red Carpet at the Oscars?  It's nice to know who won, but invariably I haven't enjoyed nominated films, probably due to my total hatred of all things Hyped.
My favourite:  Glenn Close
I suspect that others will be talked about more but I just loved this, talk about making a look your own.  Understated, powerful, elegance - I'd like to look like this tomorrow let alone in 20+ years.
Also Amazing:

The fact these dresses exist makes me happy!

Effortless Style, takes work

"Anyone can get dresses up and glamorous but it is how people dress in their days off that are the most intriguing." - Alexander Wang
 
I chose Jessica Alba as my example because from the images I see, she has a core understanding of what suits her and makes her feel comfortable, so although she has access to the best stylists, hair and make-up for any event, I think she usually gets it right when diving into her own wardrobe as well, which lets be honest many people don't because she has the tools she needs with in her wardrobe, so that the 'look' she's known for is achievable.  Being just a simple girl from the West Country, I can't imagine the stress involved in being photographed everyday, luckily most of us will never have to deal with that.  However my point is to ensure your wardrobe allows you to achieve effortless style everyday, without extensive thought before 7am.  It's a chick flick staple but true enough the day you throw on clothes without thinking and run to the local shop looking like you've been attacked by your wardrobe, is the day you'll run into your ex, boss or in my case a new client (it was awful, I blame my coffee addiction and need for milk).

So apart from the fact we are all human and make mistakes, how can you ensure that you never find yourself trying to hide behind the fruit and veg?  The answer is easy basics that allow you to throw them on and look good, oh and relegate your gym wear so it is never the first thing you grab(Note to Self!).  A selection of great basics will have shape rather than just being cover ups, they should be comfortable but when put together, form a multi textural look, that enhances the simplicity of the single items.  I'm a big fan of layers for casual wear as when done right they instantly seem more put together and as if you've put some thought into an outfit.  The right scarf can add interest, colour and texture and detract from the fact you are essentially just wearing a top and some jeans.  The goal of style is to make it seem effortless and think about it until it becomes natural for you.  Think about your first day of work, were you instantly brilliant, feeling as if you could do everything asked of you?  Or did you have moments of wondering, "how the hell am I supposed to do that?"  I suspect that you put the tools in place and then through a series of trial and error adjustments you reached the stage where your job became second nature to you.  Your style will be the same, you'll make mistakes but if you keep trying you'll reach the point where it is effortless and you can't remember what life was like before.

Do I look good in this?

I guess what I'm really asking you to consider is how do you know that the style you are being encouraged to wear suits you and your needs rather than just the sales targets of the Sales Assistant you are being helped by?

I spoke to a woman recently who just wanted some guidance, she had a pretty good understanding of the style that suited her best but wanted clarification on the best options for her.  I'm the same, I do this for a living but when trying something new, I like to ask a trusted friend what they think (let's be honest when you aren't sure, the reality is that it's not quite right.)  Anyway this new client told me a story about a recent trip to a shop in which she had tried on 5 dresses and been told they all looked fabulous.  I loved what she said next,  "Listen I know I'm scoring better than average in the 50+ category but some of those dresses needed a health warning before I came out of the fitting room, so I left them all because how could I know."  There in lies the rub, when we are lied to in a small way and left without guidance we then dismiss all the information we are given, as coming from the same vein of Fools Gold.

Trust me I've stood outside a fitting room or 2 in my time and it can be incredibly hard sometimes, to be honest as you haven't had the time to build a relationship, well the kind of relationship where brutal truth is going to win you any admirers.  However honesty doesn't have to be brutal, so don't be afraid to push for an honest opinion.  Ask the Sales Assistant for a preference, be pushy if need be, it's your money and why should you spend it if you have received no service.  The realities of retail today are that you don't have to go into a shop, so those shops must be taught that having the opportunity to sell to you is a privilege.      The good news is that more shops are coming to understand that a sale has to be made, not just put through and as a result they are starting to ensure their staff understand  the concepts involved with styling a client.  So help is out there on the high street, as always you just have to be brave enough to ask for it.

Why I bought them

So I spend quite a lot of time speaking hypothetically about what you should or should not buy and why.  I think it's all good and useful stuff, otherwise I wouldn't write it but I also thinks it's about time I gave you some real life examples.  Last week on a delightful trip to Bicester (my Disney Land), I found these little gems.  Purple suede Miu Miu, deliciousness for a very respectable 75% discount at £100, which is less than you would spend in many high street stores for a pair of leather/suede shoes.  Ok, so a little background information - Miu Miu is one of the diffusion lines of Prada but as a brand it tends to be more trend driven and cutting edge in it's choices but the craftsmanship and quality is the same.  So I bought a quality item at a significant discount, well done me.

However I'm always talking about 'cost per wear' and how often could I possibly wear purple suede in the UK climate?  A good point but I think you should balance that fact with 'added value' and 'synergistic wardrobes'(check previous blogs).  In regard to the fact, I'm smug about my purchase, because of the significant discount and the fact the only pair for sale happened to be in my size.  They add differentiation to my wardrobe as previously I had nothing like them and slightly more importantly they add more than just shoes to an outfit, in regard to the fact they are a point of interest and their bright colour is very much still in trend.  They will change the tone of an outfit, and by drawing significant attention they'll allow me to recycle, previously worn outfit combinations, that with this change can have a new spin.  Therefore saving me from buying new outfits for the events I have to go to.

All this is rationalisation after the fact as the truth is, They're so pretty!  Not all impulse purchases are so successful but as I do this for a living, I'm allowed (Sort of)

The devil is in the details

"Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak"

Rachel Zoe

So what happens when through lack of interest, time or understanding your clothes say the wrong thing about you?  Or they speak for who you used to be but have not evolved with you, as you have been so busy improving your position in life that you didn't have the inclination to worry about your image, because how much difference can it make?

The way people dress gives the casual observer a benchmark and an idea of their level of success and social standing, as a result that person has already made numerous decisions before a conversation starts.  Very few people can naturally morph into a different social standing but if you give it a bit of thought you can ensure you are presenting the image you need to, to ensure that you have the opportunity to be heard.  My best piece of advice is that the devil is in the details, as whether they know it or not that is where the information that people take their cues from is, as the details tend to be unconscious (unless you have me in your corner).  I remember, when my friend was doing a pupillage and his boss said something along the lines of, "Nice suit, but I think you can do better than a Tie Rack tie."  It didn't fit with the image of a future Barrister that he was trying to present. So in the vain of fake it till you make it, image presentation is vital.  Once you've made it and everyone is clamouring for your advice and knowledge it becomes much less important, because people already know that you have something worth listening to.

The question becomes how do you present a carefully crafted, successful look before you are making the money necessary to pay for it?  Well the answer as always is that the devil is in the details, choose items that fit you and the image you are trying to present.  The difference between high end and high street gets narrower everyday, so you can produce any look at a fraction of the cost.  Don't fool yourself into thinking that plain will be enough camouflage, you need to add personal flair to make the look authentic.  I'm not running a course in Chancers 101, I can only get you through the door what you say when you get there is up to you.

When you are in situation out of your comfort zone, like an interview or meeting a new client.  Think about how you want those people to see you and work towards presenting that image.  Sometimes starting outside/in helps  to put you in the right head space.

5 things worth waiting for.

I know it's Valentine's Day and everyone is concerned with a different kind of perfect match, but I like to write about stuff I know, so I'll focus on the clothes.  When it comes to perfecting your wardrobe there are a few items that are essential building blocks, that will stand you in good stead against any future variations in season or trend and as a result, it is worth investing the time and energy in making the right choices, rather than following a hit and hope methodology.  It almost doesn't matter who you are or what your lifestyle is, I bet you'll have these or some variation on them in your wardrobe.

The wide leg trouser, a smart jacket, a form fitting dress, a leather jacket and a pair of comfortable but chic flats.

The reason I believe these are the essentials is that it takes very little to add on a seasonal basis to make them look on trend and appropriate for any social situation.  They are easy to wear and require little in the way of sartorial thought.  As long as you have made the best choice in the first place, the foundations of any look you put together will be strong.  I have a friend who constantly tries on black trousers, always searching for the perfect pair, even though she has a pair that are fairly epic - they make her legs longer, her bum peachier and everything else pretty good too (jealous, not me!)  So I asked her why she wastes her time and she responded with a pretty good point, "What you think I found these, in the first shop I went into, when I needed a new pair?  No, I found them just this way, by looking with out pressure so that I was never desperate enough to make the wrong decision, that I could regret."  Ok it's a genius point.

As we do only make mistakes when we are desperate and allow ourselves to reach the point, where we enter an 'It will have to do' head space. So I'm not saying that these are items you should buy today or tomorrow but wait until you find the right version for you.

The perfect version of yourself?

Ok, so this is probably out of my pay grade and something that someone with certificates on the wall should be asking but the difference is,in this case I can't and won't judge your answer. So the question is how close are you to your vision of the best, you can be? I don't care who you are or how amazing your life is at some point, you'll catch yourself fantasising about being something or someone different, be it a vague improvement of an entire over haul. Even if it is as simple as envisioning yourself as the type of person who can comfortably wear bright yellow. The fact is though the first step to changing or improving anything is picturing what you might want, because unless you have some idea of where you want to go, you're on the road to lost before you start.

Before I work with a new client I ask them to give this some thought, as I need to know who or what the dream is so that I can make it a reality. It never ceases to amaze me how many people never proactively think about what they want to look like and accept their clothes and therefore image as a foregone conclusion, that can't be easily altered. The truth being if you want to, you can alter it daily and not settle until you find the right fit, although to be honest this is expensive and exhausting, so maybe it would be better to put a bit of a plan in place. The best way to approach a change of style is to fool around, be prepared to make mistakes and try things that are outside of your initial comfort zone. Thanks to the "joy" of fitting rooms these mistakes don't even have to cost you anything or last longer than it takes to change your mind. I have a saying which is in danger of becoming a catch phrase, "this is not your friend" which is my way of telling people in a non-aggressive fashion that they can and should do better when making a purchase. Harsh but invariably fair, because you wouldn't keep a person who was unpleasant in your life, so why keep a dress that is unflattering?

So spend a moment today thinking about what you want to look like and then find the 'friend' that helps you take a step towards it. Please excuse the formatting I'm out and about today but will fix it when not on the train. Xx

Denim Alternatives

For the last several years, the main jeans companies have all been competing to produce the denim look of the season and when 1 breaks ahead of the pack the others follow like style puppies to produce something of equal market weight.  Each season a new jean is the thing to be seen in and nothing however close is quite the same, this started with the J Brand Houlihan, with its distinctive combat detailing, juxtaposed with the pure fashion cut that quite frankly did all sorts of favours to any backside.  Then last season it was the Current Elliot animal print which you couldn't flick through a self respecting celebrity magazine(please note my raised eyebrow at this phrase) without seeing.  These were much less forgiving and very much less friendly to anyone with adult proportions, although that may be my bitterness talking as they made me look as if I should be skinned and laid in front of a fire.  Repeat like a mantra, Not all looks are for all people and exhale.

This season the race is on over the perfect jean for the season and there are in my opinion 2 significant front runners the Pastel denim and the scalloped crop.  I kind of love them both, the pastel are a great replacement for the summer nightmare that is white jeans, being easier to wear and a much more interesting addition to your wardrobe.  This is what new purchases should be the addition of something that wasn't there before or an upgrade of a long loved staple, shopping should not be about acquiring the largest number of black trouser variables, that ship has sailed.

The Scalloped Crop is just a more interesting variant on a staple classic, in truth it's not going to change the world but if you've avoided the crop before on the grounds that your legs look a little too, shall we use the word 'sturdy', these could be your gateway drug of choice.  Going back to the Art of Illusion these jeans can do a lot of the work for you, as the detail splits the focus on your legs and slims down the calf and the slate grey is an easy colour to wear and more interesting than many of the standard washes.  OK I'll admit it Pastel jeans are going to be the big thing, but the Scalloped crops are going to do you all sorts of favours if you are willing to make one more purchase this summer.

Spring summer for Zero degrees

Well I've outlined a lot of the fore running trends for Spring Summer 12 but at the moment as I look out of the window all I want are my thickest knits and heaviest boots to combat the, lets be honest positively bleak conditions that I'm looking at.  However it is possible to marry fashion and comfort, in order to feel stylish and warm.  There is nothing worse than seeing someone woefully under dressed for the elements due to their determination to be fashionable.  I learnt this lesson very well in a Rugby Stadium when I was about 12, it's delightful to look fashionable but nothing goes with Blue skin and Corn beef legs, when I'm cold I'm useless and not much fun to be around.  So the trick that you should know is that layers are your friend, so that you hint at the trends to come without giving the game away.  Now is the time to flirt and tease rather than leaving yourself exposed.

Not to mention the fact that cracking out some more colourful clothing options might help keep the famous February depression at bay, by looking forward to lighter and brighter times ahead.  The first trend I would focus on bringing into your wardrobe is the Brights, it's the easiest one to wear and see, giving a 'brighter' outlook to you and those around you.  By introducing flashes of colour you can also give yourself a chance to get used to it, rather than making a massive shift later in the year.

For a relatively inexpensive purchase and a way of trying out colours that you enjoy, these scarves and snoods by Topshop, will give out the warmth of the new season to come before the Mercury has a chance to rise, whilst keeping you warm in the run up.  I know that trying new things can be daunting particularly if it requires a large investment, trying new things is easier and more accessible if you make the choice to dip in a toe rather than take a run at the deep-end so that is today's advice.  Try it in a small way, you just might like it and it could leave you feeling a little bit closer to the Summer.

Ice Cream anyone?

Sports Luxe

Ok so it's true to say that fashion responds to the things that happen in the world as much as anything else does and I don't know if you've heard but this year London is hosting the Olympics, and many of the catwalks are reflecting this by using high performance fabrics for high fashion.

So in order to avoid feeling like you've stolen the clothes of a 14 yr old boy, how do you wear this trend?  First news is that tracksuit bottoms are never fashion forward unless you are heading in the direction of the gym or your hang over is so bad that anything with buttons is just too complex.  There are a load of different options and ways to get it right.  The first rule is either/or, either the fabric is loose and super luxe, like silk or form fitting and in a  relaxed fabric, like jersey.  The idea is to heighten the comfort whilst maintaining a level of chic sophistication.  It's supposed to be fun and this is a great alternative to the more classic weekend looks or adding a contemporary twist to workwear.  The one similarity you will notice with all my example looks are heels, they are almost mandatory for this way of dressing as they immediately upgrade whatever fabric you are wearing.

"Synergetic" Wardrobes

Sorry every so often making up a word is the only way to explain a theory without having a title longer than the post I'm thinking of writing.  So today I met a new client, a really lovely lady who's wardrobe would have made any general proud (I was a little intimidated by it), everything was colour coded and matched to a corresponding item.  It made me feel a little redundant, as that is the role I usually fulfill, it's quite literally my job, so I asked myself and her why she had hired me.  After a brief conversation, I started to understand.  She had become a slave to her own organisation and and had stopped seeing the clothes and now only saw them as outfits, leaving her with a small percentage of the potential of her wardrobe, as well as being in the trap of always feeling she was wearing the same items in rotation.  She had used personal shoppers before and they had sold her 'outfits' that she put together and kept together or left in the bag as she didn't know how to wear them.  So I got to do my favourite thing in the world today, teach someone how to play with clothes until her number of choices tripled before her eyes.

Synergy is a term used to describe when the addition of component parts, lead to a result that is significantly larger than those parts, it was described to me as 1+1=5.  Which is exactly what the most effective wardrobes do.  A few years ago DKNY were selling the idea that the perfect wardrobe, needed only 9 pieces of clothing in order to contend with the needs of any modern woman.  I seem to remember Gok Wan saying something about 24 pieces including accessories.  However both of them were selling this idea on the notion of buying these pieces, I think you will find you already own them, in most cases.  You just need someone to show you where they are in your wardrobe.  By looking at clothes with new eyes, you will see the potential in them and in essence be able to get more from them.  Trust me when you put a top with a different pair of trousers than you would normally, people will ask where your 'new top' is from.  Clothes do take on colour and as a result will appear different to those around you.

Packing for a weekend away

I don't know about you but when it comes to packing I like to keep things light, especially if I'm just going for a weekend I'd rather ensure my items fit in a large handbag than a large suitcase, but this can be tricky especially with the weather like it is, as you also don't want to be in a situation where you don't have what you need to stay warm or just enjoy your day.  Here are 2 looks that could easily form the basis of a weekend wardrobe and with only a few items in the bag could take you anywhere you need to go, without the fear of not having what you need.

So in order to explain I think I need a format or at least a proper example, you are off for the weekend to a friends house, where you'll be going out on Saturday day-tripping followed by dinner and possibly a little dancing till dawn, next comes a comfortable Sunday of lunch at home with a group of friends that no doubt involves people that won't understand if you are still wearing pyjamas.  So how would I change the styling of these 2 looks whilst adhering to the minimal packing rule?

Look 1, I don't know about you but day-tripping in heels just doesn't work for me, so in the bag we have first and foremost a pair of ballet flats, which immediately makes the look more casual but equally wearable, the jacket will distract from any problem areas that you feel are attached to your hips in a skinny jean.  For dinner you've popped into your bag a silk shirt with a collar and long pendant, this immediately upgrades the other items and due to the fabric will leave you feeling comfortable but also luxurious, the jacket becomes an entry item that you can check at the door.  Jewellery is a great way of upgrading an outfit, the right piece allows you to decorate a simple item making it so much more than it was.  For Sunday, put the blouse under the jumper with the ballet pumps for an easy casual look, you've changed the lines by adding the blouse and embraced a slightly more preppy thoughtful look, plus you'll be comfortably able to deal with any hangover you may be contending with.

Look 2, this is already a more complex look with much more going on, in many ways the complete opposite of the first.  It can already be fundamentally changed by removing layers, so what could you possibly need to put in a bag?  Well I don't know about you but I would feel uncomfortable wearing this on an evening out, so let's lose the leggings, scarf and cardigan and add some colour and elegance.  There is one really quick way to do this, coloured shoes any height and the brighter the better.  A neutral outfit like this allows you to have some real fun with your accessories, it'll add so much to the dress and cause some real interest from those around you.  The belt is already in situe to allow you to high light your shape but by playing with it's placement and the way the dress sits under it, you can find yourself with a totally new dress.  The last thing in the bag is a long length white t shirt for Sunday which can be worn instead of the dress as the cardigan will cover your modesty.

So what are the rules if you don't want to wear these exact outfits?  

Clothes that can form a blank canvas that change easily with additions or subtractions of accessories.
Clothes than can easily be multifunction or layers that can be worn together or separately.
Clothes that you trust you'll feel good in what ever the situation.
If nothing else where a simple dress and fill your small bag with things that draw the eye to change the perspective of others.

Sale Seduction

Just a quick word to the wise. Just because they are final reductions does not make them, final clothes.  This is not the last sale and it is not the last time beautiful things will be sold, if you miss it, your life will not end.  Do not be seduced into buying something you only feel so so about because it is the last weekend of the sale.  You will be hit with a million emails and sign posts over the next 2 weeks but as I have said before it is only a bargain if you wanted it anyway, if you are buying that pair of jeans because of the price.  PUT THEM DOWN!!!  I mean it!

Think about every item on a cost per wear basis, if you only plan on wearing it once is it worth it?