Black tie.... GAH!

How many times have you seen these words written on an invitation and then spent the run up to the event panicking?  Yes I'm talking to the women as most men are exponentionally improved by the addition of a Tuxedo, in fact some men should be forced by law to wear nothing else.     So if you'll excuse us Gents, we girls are just going to have a little chat.  I went to a black tie event last night and it was as always 'educational', I'm pretty good at what I do in fact there are moments when I think I genuinely have a talent and yet still I had a moment getting ready when I thought sod it put your jeans back on and go to the cinema.  As you know these social occasions are supposed to be fun but you will be effected by what I call the unlearned experience, no one has ever been as Bitchy to you as you imagine they will be and yet your imagination is unleashed and you stand in front of the mirror and rip yourself open.  When the reality is by the time you get there people will only be interested in where the drinks are and how long they have to wait before another canape is put under their nose.  It is unlikely that the most interesting thing about you is your dress and as a result unless it is a stand out Oscar worthy show stopper people won't really notice and certainly aren't going to say anything, unless you make it so obvious that you are uncomfortable, they are unable to see anything else.  So what are the keys to stopping the panic and being able to start enjoying the evening when you walk through the door, rather than when you have drunk enough bad wine to not care any more?  

I could go into a diatribe about preparation preventing poor performance but actually its the opposite, minimise the time you have to get ready, as that avoids the over thinking pit fall.  In fact just minimise the thinking in general, dresses are easy you put them on, paint your face and walk out the door, no tweaking necessary, so stop doing it.  Remember there is no such thing as over dressed, just under confident!  So as I always say to my clients, "Bollocks to them", if you are comfortable and happy those are the only things that anyone worth knowing is going to notice.  There are no hard and fast rules any more, there was a time when by reading an invitation you could instinctively know exactly what was required, now things are looser and as a result may feel more confusing but the truth is it's an opportunity to be comfortable and say a little more about who you actually are.  So take a deep breath, I'm referring to black tie but the same rule applies to every event you are going to this summer.  Remember that somewhere between the fitting room and the front door every single individual in that room has wondered if they are getting it right, or looked at someone and said, "Is this ok?".  The answer is yes, now go and have a good time and relax.