I was in the gym about 40 minutes ago, being brutalised by my lovely trainer and I had myself a little mental block. I haven't had the best of days, I've been frustrated by a few bits and pieces, that aren't quite going my way, so by the time I got into the gym I had a small case of the "I can'ts". He asked me to lift a weight, that was miles away from my personal best and I physically couldn't do it. I had no idea how to get this 40kg weight, where I needed it to be. So we went back to basics, drilling the movement, with small weights, slowly increasing until without noticing, I was lifting 50kg. I also ended up doing it 4 times as many times as he was going to ask me to in the first place. Working harder than I needed to because my head stopped me taking the initially more difficult but quicker path. (He's crafty that way)
I can hear you scratching your head as to what this has to do with dressing. Well think about it if we can make ourselves stronger and weaker just with our thoughts, is it not equally possible that we can change the way we look and as a result the way we present ourselves to the world? You know that feeling when you put on a skirt that you have worn a 100 times but today you look enormous and can't possibly be seen in public wearing it, well that is your case of the "I can'ts" the secret is that you can, but not with that attitude.
The first thing in changing yourself is stop being so hard on yourself, we all do it, particularly in areas where we feel threatened. The removal of belief, in some ways is a protection mechanism, nothing can go wrong if nothing changes, we will get what we expect. However the problem with nothing changing is that equally nothing will improve. If you believe you can improve you will naturally start to make changes and seek advice from those with more information.
The second step is to know where you are, it's all very well heading off on a journey but knowing where you are starting is as important as understanding where you hope to get to. This is why a Wardrobe clear out is so important, what are your wardrobe building blocks and how much of that is just a repetition, that is taking up space without merit. Taking off on a wild hare to change your style is fine if you can afford it, but most of us can't. To give you a metaphor, do you remember setting up house for the first time, yes there were big expenditures, but it was the little things that really added up on your credit card ie glasses, tea spoons, cooking utensils in general. These basic items that you may already have can be bridges to your new style, maintaining some familiarity so that your brain is better able to cope and as a consequence is less likely to reject the notion of a new you.
Finally, listen to yourself! What is your inner monologue? Is it constructive or destructive? Sometimes when you actually listen to the words it is enough to make you realise how wrong you are. Would you accept those comments from anyone else, or to put it a different way, if you heard 2 people talking to each other like that, without context would you think it was acceptable? Through out the years I have heard some brutal things in fitting rooms, some enough to make me physically flinch and they are always said by people as they look in the mirror:- Stop it! If you can't trust your thoughts, ignore them and go with your gut. Trust your instincts, they probably won't steer you too far off the right path.
All I know for certain is this, if you tell yourself you can, you will and I bet you'll look fabulous while you do!
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