Or more specifically shopping with one. From an early age this is something we all do, it is not dependent on gender or socio economic level, we all at some point go shopping with friends, sometimes with great success and then there are those other times.
As much as I love people, you don't have to watch them for long to learn that, impartial they are not. We all have bias towards or against certain things and if you shop with a friend you not only have to deal with your own bias but their's as well. This is before you get started on the realities of what that person is actually thinking about beyond, whether that skirt is the right one for you. You may be different, but I also find that if I'm shopping with someone else I invariably censor myself, I try less on and tend to hurry decisions- so as to not inconvenience my friends, I consider their feelings in my spending decisions, "What will they think if I buy this and that?" or I just end up working for free. It's exhausting! At 15 this is easy, because looking like everybody else is the point, but as you mature and start to become the grown up you want to be, things get somewhat trickier. Now this may get confusing so bare with me but there is a point. When you shop with a friend, in the fitting room you have;
The person you are, the person you want to be, the person you are for your friend, the person your friend thinks you are, the person your friend wants you to be and the person either or both of you think you should try to be more like. That's a lot of people to fit in one outfit, isn't it?
There is no blame to be apportioned to this, it's just the natural truth of relationships but it makes it easier to see how and why mistakes might be made. So how do you navigate this and end up happy. The easy answer and the one my bias would suggest, is hire a professional...but if not then you have to have a pact of total honesty and be prepared to possibly hear some things you may not like. However my number 1 tip, is have lunch first, spend sometime listening to the things that are on each others minds so that your heads are clearer when you shop. This limits the likelihood of either of you being distracted by other issues. Over lunch discuss the type of things you are looking for, so that you understand each others aims for the trip, there is no point spending an hour looking at evening dresses if you both really want new jeans. This will limit the chances of unnecessary frustrations.
Secondly listen to their advice but trust your judgement. Working on the shop floor I lost count of the number of times I heard the phrase, "My friend convinced me to buy this, but when I got home I knew I'd never wear it." Save yourself the aggravation and be honest with yourself and your friend the first time. If you aren't sure, ask for a second opinion from an objective observer, there is always someone else loitering around.
Finally don't put any pressure on each other, because fundamentally you are friends and that is much more important than what you buy or don't. It's easier to be brave as a duo, so why not use the next shopping trip as an opportunity to move out of your comfort zone a little and try the unexpected. If it goes to a bad place at least you'll have someone to laugh with over a cheeky vino on the way home.
There is no blame to be apportioned to this, it's just the natural truth of relationships but it makes it easier to see how and why mistakes might be made. So how do you navigate this and end up happy. The easy answer and the one my bias would suggest, is hire a professional...but if not then you have to have a pact of total honesty and be prepared to possibly hear some things you may not like. However my number 1 tip, is have lunch first, spend sometime listening to the things that are on each others minds so that your heads are clearer when you shop. This limits the likelihood of either of you being distracted by other issues. Over lunch discuss the type of things you are looking for, so that you understand each others aims for the trip, there is no point spending an hour looking at evening dresses if you both really want new jeans. This will limit the chances of unnecessary frustrations.
Secondly listen to their advice but trust your judgement. Working on the shop floor I lost count of the number of times I heard the phrase, "My friend convinced me to buy this, but when I got home I knew I'd never wear it." Save yourself the aggravation and be honest with yourself and your friend the first time. If you aren't sure, ask for a second opinion from an objective observer, there is always someone else loitering around.
Finally don't put any pressure on each other, because fundamentally you are friends and that is much more important than what you buy or don't. It's easier to be brave as a duo, so why not use the next shopping trip as an opportunity to move out of your comfort zone a little and try the unexpected. If it goes to a bad place at least you'll have someone to laugh with over a cheeky vino on the way home.
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